Amelia understood the way of Vedanta now, she really did, it had merged upon the spirituality she already knew and strengthened it immeasurably. She was now embedded in her path, the confidence of it consolidated in her mind by the description Ram had repeatedly transferred to her.
‘I am pointing you at a principle blend of Bhakti and Jnana together Amelia – love and intelligence converged. The Bhakti is your relationship with God in all forms, expressing your heart in the joy of nature, companionship, puja and satsang. The Jnana is your exhilarating intelligence, your thrilling investigation into the nature of reality. Love with intelligence equally combined is my teaching, not love alone and not intelligence alone, then Karma and Raja naturally flow from that base to serve in the world and meditate. This collection of forces is a complete equation of spirituality. It is not difficult. Put some arrangements in place, adopt positive habits and discriminate with how you use your time.’
This focus and change in priorities had felt like a maturing for her. She watched, she considered, she read Vedanta but not too much to the point of being tied up in knots. She wrote down her own ideas, prayed to God, keeping open that marvellous personal dialogue of inner private communication. She made some modifications to her behaviour, cancelling out some old negative habits and creating some new ones that served her better and she enjoyed the continuous loving resources of her Guru. These ways had simply become her truth and while everything practical and domestic went on, she knew that this pursuit of realisation was and is the first priority of her life.
Through the tangle of branches and twigs in front of her an object right at the very apex of the fallen tree caught her eye. What was that? Balancing to the side and standing on tiptoe she could see the top of a white stone pillar. It was conical, standing alone in a thick bramble patch, the spiky thistles covering about two thirds of its height. It must be about eight feet high. The beech had fallen like a plumb line, landing just a metre from this thing, dragging down the thick surrounding undergrowth to expose it. This was not a natural object. A pillar in the forest and stepping stones leading nowhere?
Back across the river she paced down the four-mile track heading for the village, the afternoon was progressing and she needed to return before dusk. Shiva, what a word, what a name, she pondered it as she walked. Was she to learn about the great and mighty Puranic God dancing the universe or some other mystery? What would be the purpose of this particular trip? What would be the outcome? She realised she could never know that in advance, she could only experience it as it was happening but it was hard not to try and shape it in her mind. Once she was over the rise and looking into the valley below, the abandoned village and the lights shining from the house of her Guru came into view. What is Shiva? She would ask him as soon as she got back